flapJACK? flapPUFF? PUFFjack?
my ONE HUNDRED & THIRTIETH newsletter
welcome to my brain, it may or may not be great to be here.
It’s finally February. Thank God. January was januarying in the worst way and now we can move on to what could be the worst month weather wise in New York or could be one of those where we have unseasonable 60 degree days. Who is to tell? Lee Goldberg probably. I, for one, will be spending the majority of the month out of the country where the weather report is hot and humid. I can’t wait! You’ll hear more about that in March when I get back but for now, gotta keep an air of secrecy. The only hint I’ll give you is that it’s gonna be a snack paradise unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
But for today, we’re going cozy. It’s cold and I've sort of fallen into a big time funk™️ where I laze about in bed like an eighteenth century french noblewomen whose day-to-day responsibilities include lounging, reading and wistfully thinking about my hot gardener. In modern terms, that means I have rarely left my house and am eating an abundance of pancakes.
Why pancakes? I don’t really know. I’ve been on a kick recently. I was very pancake-avoidant for many years. Mostly due to the 2+ years where I hocked flapjacks at a suburban IHOP. But now, the PTSD has passed and I actually have been enjoying them and the smell. What you don’t realize when you work at a breakfast restaurant is that you will smell like pancakes and bacon forever. It will seep into your pores and at times it will feel like there is no escape, it is always with you and then one day, ten years later you’ll be able to disassociate and remember that you actually like the smell of pancakes and syrup.
It’s a glorious thing, our brains, our memories, our pancakes.
One of the other things about me you should know is when I get in these eighteenth century women periods I turn to one of my favorite shows. It has always comforted me during my darkest times. It is, of course, Sabrina the Teenage Witch featuring Melissa Joan Hart. If you ever catch me watching it just know, we’re down bad.
My favorite episode, which I just found out while searching for this clip is also MJH’s favorite episode, is “Pancake Madness.” She finds out that as a Spellman, she can’t eat pancakes because of their addictive quality. She defies her aunt’s dire warnings and eats the flapjacks anyway. What ensues next is pure camp where she literally becomes addicted to pancakes and then has to detox. It’s wonderful. I think about it every time I eat pancakes and pray it doesn’t happen to me. * knocks on wood *
Get to the fucking pancakes already
Oh I’m not reviewing pancakes today. You can read my smackdown where I pitted two fast food pancakes against each other a few years ago here, but that’ll be all the pancake reviewing you’ll get.
Wow I referenced the pancake episode of sabrina in that one too. Sorry, I’m just a broken record over here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO PANCAKES??
Listen, I love the enthusiasm but reviewing pancakes would be boring. Instead we have pancake flavored snacks!!! Huzzah!
Intriguing, no? As someone who just lurves corn & rice puffed snacks, I was excited to see these on the check out aisle. Then after I bought it, I started to really think about it and I started to ask, wait why the hell did they make this? I don’t think anyone asked for it. I certainly didn’t. Yet here I am eating it on my couch during the work day.
Looks like pirates booty drenched in syrup, but smells like caramel? It’s not a maple syrup smell, and I, am an expert. It’s much sweeter, and much more sinister.
Now’s a good time for me to tell you that I normally don’t like maple flavored things. I know, I know! But hear me out, it’s gross. LOL sorry. No but a lot of times it’s too sweet and chemically. Like the maple oatmeal? Hate it. The maple pop tarts, barf city. Maple cookies, do you even have to ask? So yeah, I don’t actually know why I bought these.
Except maybe I do. See they say maple pancake vs just maple! So in my tiny peanut lizard brain I assume they’ll taste more like pancakes than fake maple flavoring.
And you know what? I was right. I can so rarely say that these days so let me rub it into your face.
The texture is pirate’s booty to a tee. I almost have to ask, is it the same manufacturer? But then I remember Tjs makes a lot of their own pirate’s booty and forgot it’s probably pretty easy to make corn puffs. C’est la vie, so we move on.
The flavor on the other hand? C’est la fucking vie!!!! Wow it packs a punch. Some puffs are, obviously, more maple dusted than others but that’s actually one of my favorite parts. It’s mapley, it’s somehow pancakey, it’s not too strong and not too sweet and it’s friday, I’m in love. I can’t believe it. I have never found a maple treat I like, other than pearl milling company’s maple syrup. Usually they are too sweet, too much, but this? It’s the perfect combination.
Perhaps it’s the corn/rice puff that’s helping balance out the sweetness of the syrup. Perhaps it’s the corn/rice puff that’s giving it that classic warm, pancakey flavor. Perhaps TJs has finally cracked the maple code: it’s the corn/rice puff. Or perhaps it’s made with real maple syrup or just better maple syrup. Perhaps it’s that there is a little bit of salt that helps balance out the syrup flavor. Perhaps I should stop speculating and start enjoying. Yeah man, get out there living your life.
When should I snack on these?
Probably during breakfast times. I can see myself shoving a handful of them in my mouth on my way to the gym or walking Wansey. I’m currently eating them now at 2:34pm while catching up on VPR and that also feels appropriate. Later I’ll try them out just before bed where I think they’ll also work nicely. To be short, you can eat them whenever, where ever your heart desires pancakes.
Just make sure you be careful as to not get addicted.
🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞🥞 / 10
Wanso’s World
Wansey baby! World traveler! Favorite of the butcher on bleecker street (they’re friends, not to be eaten)! She’s a star! A shining star! I love her, do you?
Best Thing I Ate in New York this week
As you can probably guess from my opening paragraph, I haven’t been eating outside my home too much. Here’s a quick rundown of what I’ve been eating inside and outside my home.
Alison Roman’s Goodbye Meatballs- a recipe I make quite often when I need to make something hearty, use my hands because I’m restless and whenever I want to metaphorically move on from something. it’s meditative to make meatballs!! and delicious
Altro Paradiso cacio e pepe and a finocchio salad which iykyk but fennel salads are one of my most favorite things. Are they nutritional? probably not but boy are they delicious. This was a client lunch though that physically drained me. The clients were so great and fun and easy to talk to but I did not have it in me that day.
Reveile Luncheonette Patty Melt- It was really fucking delicious and I recommend. The fries, however, left some things to be desired. They do make cokes via seltzer and syrup (I think? that’s what it tasted like) and boy did that hit the spot. I can’t wait to go back for pancakes.
New Levain coconut, caramel, chocolate chip cookies. Their take on a GS samoa. It was nothing like a samoa but it was delicious.
Polls, polls, a magical fruit
Enjoy your February tiny cannelloni beans! I’ll be back next week with a fresh new snack and a hot new take just 4 u!
Love you, mean it, happy snacking✌🏼
TL