welcome to my brain, it may or may not be great for you to be here.
Where do I begin? How do I begin? For the first time in my adult life, I am at a loss of words. I just ate something so cursed, so horrific, so…sticky, that I’m not even sure how to intro it. It’s one of those snacks that really begs the question: Why, god, WHY?
You know what I mean?
I guess I can go back to the beginning. I was born on a cold winter’s evening in December. I lived 32 and a half solid years, some crazier than others, then stumbled upon an Instagram post. All roads lead back to Instagram.
I know like what the fuck. At first I thought this might be AI generated because I follow a lot of accounts that sneak fake collabs in there in order to generate likes but upon further investigation (reading the caption) I learned it was real. EXCLUSIVE to 7/11 stores NATIONWIDE. That’s right folks, NATIONWIDE, they’re hocking these blue raspberry slurpee drumsticks. 9207 stores (according to the new AI google search results, do we trust that?)
What’s weirder though, is that I haven’t seen ANY marketing with this bad boi. Like are people just supposed to know it exists? Are they just supposed to be constantly checking the (locked) ice cream fridge for special treats? Is it supposed to reward those buying drumsticks at 7/11? Does anyone do that? Maybe I’m so New York pilled that I get my ice cream from trucks and never thought to get a drumstick from 7/11 but, whatever, my question remains firm.
Anyway, did you know I live two blocks away from a 7/11? There aren’t that many in New York so that’s kind of a flex. They have the best snacks but also the worst clientele. It’s a mixture of lost tourists looking for a bottle of water and people down bad looking for someone to buy them a hot dog. They don’t ask nicely though, they yell at you. It’s a mixed bag what you’ll get.
So I walked over to 7/11 expecting the worst but hoping for the best. What I encountered, dear reader, was unexpected.
First, they had tall boi Poppis (idc if it’s glorified sugar water, it tastes good) and then they had chips I’ve NEVER seen before!!! I gotta brave 7/11 more often. For the content and for you, dear reader.
I am also pleased to report, they did have the blue raspberry slurpee vanilla ice cream Drumstick. What I am not pleased to report is that 1) the ice cream is locked and it was mortifying asking to buy one 2) it was badly misshapen and sticky like it had previously melted and refroze.
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So the official description says “creamy vanilla with a blue raspberry layer topped with blue razz sauce ripples and candy bits.” Here’s what frankencone looked like:
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F632b48ec-4203-4119-b62d-ce86207edde1_4284x5712.heic)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1c193a23-1c57-4782-805a-88c7b500ad7b_4284x5712.heic)
wow that’s something!
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Okay. So here’s the thing. It was good. I know. Hear me out! Blue slurpee and vanilla ice cream actually do complement each other VERY well. I’m just as shocked as you are. Except like, not really, if you really think about it. OBVIOUSLY they go well together. Two established companies wouldn’t put the time, effort and moolah into making it if it didn’t taste good then distribute it in 9K+ stores (alledgely).
Let me run down the textures for you though, because those were weird. The fluffy vanilla ice cream on top was more akin to frozen whipped cream than ice cream. It was light and not very flavorful. I haven’t had a drumstick in god knows how long so maybe this is their normal vanilla. It was not normal regular ice cream vanilla tho.
Okay moving on to the slurpee. It was slurpee texture which would also explain how it melted and refroze and lost it’s shape so quickly. Can we be real for a second? I was lowkey having a mindfuck, okay. I couldn’t wrap my tiny peanut brain around how the slurpee was staying in solid form when it is half liquid form in a plastic cup. Then I started thinking about how I’ve never removed a slurpee from a plastic cup to see if it would hold it’s shape, you know, like a blizzard. Then I started to seriously spiral when I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I even had a SLURPEE. Somehow I ended up in the fetal position rocking back and forth lamenting about the “good old days” of the early aughts.
All that to say that the blue raspberry slurpee tasted like summer time in 2003 and I was digging it. Until I realized I dripped some on my shirt even though I was eating it OVER the trash can and IN ac. That means this shit is not good for on-the-go eating which, again, if you are buying from 7/11 I assume it is to be consumed right then and there, on-the-go. Let me know in the comments okay!!! You never listen to me and write in the comments!!!
I took a bite out of the cone, out of morbid curiosity, to see what the base of this thing was. Surprise! Just vanilla ice cream. That cone was soggy as hell. Again, I don’t know if that’s what Drumsticks are like these days or if it’s simply because something sinister happened to my cone before I bought it. REMINDER!! The whole outside was sticky while packaged so like yeah.
I didn’t notice any of these supposed “blue razz candies” but I’m sure they were there at one point pre-melting.
So after a few surprisingly good bites and several large drools out of Wanso’s mouth, I accepted defeat.
It was just too…much. Like too sticky, too sweet, too much for 1pm on a Thursday. I wish it wasn’t so gross upon buying because my initial plan was to go eat it in the park like a LADY but even the 7/11 man was disgusted by it and put it in a bag for me. That’s right. In New York City where bags are illegal he was so disgusted by my choice of treat that he put it in a BROWN PAPER BAG reserved for tall bois. So I hung my head in shame and walked back home to taunt my tiny dog with it while I answered some emails.
Alas, she tried.
If you find yourself wandering around the (a) city on a particularly hot day and you’re jonesing for a cool down treat and you can somehow find a 7/11 then by all means, try this sucker (punch) out! A lot of stars have to align for this to hit, I will admit that, but I do believe there is a time and a place where it will HIT and it will HIT HARD.
Good luck out there Drumstick Slurpee 7/11 Blue Raspberry Special, you’re on your way to being the little treat of the summer*
🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦 / 10
*maybe, idk, perhaps if you get one that wasn’t mutilated
Wanso’s World
Slow week for Wans. Now that the dreaded humidity is creeping in, she is starting to slowly hate the outside. I swear, I have never seen a dog do such a complete 180 as Wans does when the weather changes. She goes from being the happiest dog you’ll ever see outside to the most miserable little pill. That’s NYC baby. * cue hot child in the city *
Food Diary Week 24
Where did I leave off last week? I guess I’ll start with Friday.
I treated myself to $25 pancakes at Salt’s Cure. Whatever, they fuck so hard.
I popped into Manousheh on Bleecker for dinner and had a really good wrap only to discover the literal next day that it closed permanently. So, great! I had a few cocktails at Up and Up, expensive but delicious, and ended my night in a black hole of a bar called 124 Old Rabbit Club. Well, actually I ended my night at Bleecker Street Pizza with every other 24 year old in the west village.
On Saturday I started my morning with a donut from Daily Provisions and followed it up a few hours later with a desperate chicken caeser wrap (picante) from lenwich which I ate, on-the-go, as I ventured to Park Slopeish. Celebrated a dedicated reader’s b-day at Finback where I had an absolutely atrocious NA beer. It tasted and smelled like feet. DO BETTER BREWERIES!!!! Or just install a soda gun so people can drink something other than tepid water, that is also acceptable. I also had some really good regular beers but I don’t remember which ones.
On Sunday I started the day with some breakfast at Buvette which is, unfortunately, delicious. The annoying line is worth it. There, I said it. Then I went back to sleep until like 4pm and panic ordered wingstop.
It was better than I thought it would be, I’ll admit that.
The rest of my week was just me cooking for myself. No recipes of note to share this week. More to come next.
Polls, polls a magical fruit
I did get my nails done last week. They are a very bright blue so I’m going to count it as neon and say thank you to my followers for helping me decide that.
OH BABY another week passed. the years start coming and they don’t stop coming huh.
g2g,
TL